First Posted: 1/15/2009
Here's a news flash - Canadians hate Americans.
In a recent poll conducted jointly by several Canadian newspapers, 40 percent of Canuck teens between the ages of 14 and 18 think of Americans as “evil.”
That's pretty harsh. I mean, down below the equator, hating Yankees is a decade's old tradition as Latin American as cocaine, dysentery and dancing the bossa nova. And in the Middle East, wild-eyed men and women have preached their fanatical brand of acrimony towards the “Great Satan” for so long that we pay it about as much attention as the Democratic Party does Ralph Nader.
But Canadians? What have we ever done to them? During the Cold War, we were the nuclear watchdog that kept the Russians from turning the Great White North into Siberia East. And we've single-handedly propped up their economy for years by buying their beer, bacon and Rush albums, while graciously accepting into this country such minor celebrities as William Shatner, Michael J. Fox and Pamela Anderson. Not to mention the fact that we act as a buffer between Canada and the great Mexican Migration - take the U.S. out of the equation and all those fru-fru French restaurants would be Taco Bell franchises a year from now.
In return for our largess, we get a big, maple leaf-covered, frostbitten, Canadian finger.
It's so … so … French. But that's not a surprise, given that Canada is a poorly disguised French colony.
How do the Canadians hate us? Let me count the ways. During the past National Hockey League season - another Canadian import that makes about as much sense as 557-pound Ontario native Dan Aykroyd pitching Charter Cable - Canadians booed “The Star Spangled Banner” when it was played at the start of matches. I guess we Yanks could retaliate by booing the Canadian national anthem, if only someone would alert us when the song was playing.
This hatred starts at the top. The Liberal government came into power in 1993 gushing anti-Americanism - just like, I might add, American liberals, proving that old saw about the sincerest form of flattery. During the June 28 federal election, Carolyn Parrish, a Liberal legislator, publicly stated, “I hate those American bastards,” and before that, former Prime Minister Jean Chr